Stories for life's moves: My Articles
This space gathers the ideas, stories, and lessons that help you navigate life’s changes with clarity and courage. I write to make transitions feel less lonely and more doable, one insight at a time.
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When Life Shifts, So Does Our Ikigai
I used to think purpose was something you “figure out once” and then hold on to forever, like a golden compass pointing to your one big why. But life taught me otherwise, you don’t find purpose and keep it forever. Instead, it bends, reshapes, and grows as you do.
Seven years ago, I packed two luggage, boarded a flight to Beijing, and stepped into a leadership role with an international organization. I thought I was just starting a new job. What I didn’t realize was that I was stepping into one of the biggest transitions of my life, one that would challenge who I thought I was, and completely reshape how I understood myself.
Back then, “ikigai” wasn’t even in my vocabulary. But looking back now, I can see how that move rewired my sense of purpose. It wasn’t only about career growth. It was about learning to lead in uncertainty, building resilience in a foreign land, and rediscovering what mattered to me beyond titles and achievements. That transition didn’t just change my job, it changed me.
Ikigai, the Japanese concept of “reason for being”, is often imagined as a perfect overlap of passion, talent, mission, and income. But real ikigai is alive. It shifts when life shifts. It deepens every time we choose the brave path, weather a setback, or follow an inner pull.
That’s what transitions do. They shake us up and ask hard questions:
Who am I now?
What really matters to me?
What do I want to contribute?
Those questions can feel uncomfortable, but they’re actually gifts. They help us realign with our authentic purpose, not someone else’s checklist. What lit you up at 30 might not be enough at 40. What once felt like “the dream” might feel hollow later on. And that’s okay. Transitions aren’t derailments. They’re invitations to grow.
So next time life shifts, instead of asking, “What did I lose?”, try asking, “What does this season call me to become?” Ikigai isn’t a single destination. It’s a living compass that moves as you move, and you get to redraw the map.
Looking back at my transitions, I see how each one refined my inner compass. They taught me not to wait for certainty to move forward. They taught me that discomfort isn’t a stop sign, it’s proof you’re growing.
Your ikigai isn’t a one-time find. It’s something you shape, reshape, and rediscover again and again.
So, what transition are you in right now? And how might it be pointing you toward a new chapter of your ikigai?
Author: Susan Fong, September 2025
Dust, Dreams, and the Road to Myself
Dust, Dreams, and the Road to Myself
Travel has always been my dream — something that felt stitched into my DNA since childhood.
In school, we used to write down our three ambitions every year. Mine were always : teacher, writer,… and maybe nurse. Those were the only careers we knew then. But as life unfolded, I discovered my real dream wasn’t about titles or labels.
It was about freedom. Exploration. The open road.
I’ve always known that the ability to travel is a privilege, one I hold with gratitude. Not everyone gets to own a passport or cross borders at will. Each time I set off, whether on a bus, train, or plane, I remind myself how lucky I am.
And no, I don’t travel for luxury (I can’t afford that kind of luxury anyway, haha).
I travel to feel, to sense the rhythm of different cultures, to learn from strangers, and to see the world through other people’s eyes.
One of my first solo adventures was a three-day journey from Kuala Lumpur to Koh Samui : a blur of buses, trains, vans, and boats. Then there was the desert walking safari in the Thar in Rajasthan, two nights under a sky full of stars with three camels, two Indian guides, and one seriously sunburned nose. And that unforgettable 30-hour train ride from South India to Calcutta, dust everywhere, sweat pouring, but my heart wide open. And later, three years of road travel through the remote mountains of Yunnan, China, over 30,000 kilometres of pure wonder.
To many, my life looked “off track.”
While my peers were building careers, buying homes, or raising families, I was out there collecting stories, lessons, and perspectives. I used to feel like the odd one out — until I realised that different doesn’t mean lost.
My happiness doesn’t come from ticking society’s boxes. It comes from living fully, from crafting a life that feels deeply, authentically mine.
That’s what I now help others do through coaching.
I work with people who are navigating transitions, returning home after years abroad, changing careers, or simply feeling stuck between what they should do and what they want to do. We uncover clarity, courage, and direction, the kind that lets you step into the unknown without apology.
Because as I’ve learned, the pursuit of happiness isn’t a straight line. It’s personal. Messy. Unpredictable.
But if you follow it fearlessly — 追求幸福时无所畏惧 (be fearless in pursuit of happiness) — it will take you exactly where you’re meant to be.
After all, life’s too short to live someone else’s version of your story.
Author: Susan Fong, October 2025
Navigating Life Transitions: Lessons from a Global Life on the Move
This day, April 25, seven years ago, in 2018, I spent my first night in Beijing, with my two big luggages. It was my big migration to a foreign land. I was hired for a job based in this metropolitan. It was my biggest role ever – taking charge an American agency’s office in China as the country representative. It was an exciting leap into the unknown, and I took it with both arms wide open.
I remember that sense of anticipation clearly. The thrill of the new. I was stepping into a role with international scope, working with central office in the US, leading a team scattered across different countries, and navigating complex partnerships with Chinese counterparts during a time of growing geopolitical tension. It was also my most diverse team ever, and I loved that. The travel was intense, the learning curve steeper than anything I’d experienced. I was stretched in every direction.
But back then, I didn’t think of it as a transition. I thought of it as a new job. A bold move, sure, but still just the next chapter in a life I was shaping one decision at a time. It was only much later, when I learnt to reflect, that I realized what a massive shift it really was, not just professionally, but personally.
It wasn’t just the city or the job title that changed. It was me. I was learning to lead in ambiguity, to manage without precedent, to stay grounded while so much around me felt foreign. There were moments of fear and loneliness. There were doubts. I felt the weight of decisions, the pressure of visibility, the burden of being the “one in charge.” But I also felt alive. Challenged. Awake.
I’ve had many of these moments throughout my life. Moves that felt logical at the time, decisions I made independently, often without consulting anyone. I’ve walked away from jobs without a backup plan. I’ve taken sabbaticals. I’ve entered entirely new industries, not through headhunters or luck, but because I sought them out. Looking back, I see now that these weren’t just career moves. They were transitions – sometimes quiet, sometimes loud. And they changed me in ways I couldn’t see in the moment.
No one ever told me I was brave. No one warned me that I might be crazy either. But I’ve always trusted myself. I’ve always believed I could carry the consequences of my own decisions, as long as they didn’t harm others. That belief has been my compass. It still is.
We talk about resilience a lot these days – how to bounce back. But I’ve come to realise that resistance is often what stands in the way of growth. Transitions can be tough because they confront us with the unfamiliar. They shake up our sense of identity, challenge our routines, and force us to ask uncomfortable questions. But they also invite us to redefine what matters.
For years, I didn’t even know the word “transition” could apply to me. I thought transitions were for people facing loss, divorce, retirement. I didn’t see my own changes as worthy of that label. But now I know better. Transitions come in many forms – some dramatic, others subtle. And sometimes, we don’t realise we’re in one until long after the fact.
When I graduated from university, most of my peers followed the expected path: secure job, buy a car, start a family. I flew to India. I joined a year-long multicultural exchange program that brought together 50 or 60 people from all over the world. We lived, worked, partied, and travelled across India for months. It was my first taste of how vast and varied life could be. That experience cracked something open in me, a hunger to keep exploring, to stay curious, to build a life not by default, but by design.
Maybe I’m not good at staying still. Maybe I have what some call a transitory career path, frequent changes, varied roles, multiple industries. I used to joke about being a “rolling stone,” even telling a millennial once that rolling stones gather no moss. But I’ve come to appreciate the wisdom in that. Maybe moss isn’t the goal. Maybe movement is.
What I’ve learned is this: change doesn’t have to be something that happens to us. It can be something we invite. Something we shape. The trick is to stay alert to the moments that whisper, “You’re not growing anymore.” And then, to listen.
I didn’t always know what I was doing. I still don’t, a lot of the time. But I’ve stopped waiting for certainty before I move. I’ve learned that discomfort is a signal, not a stop sign. And I’ve come to trust that even the hardest transitions eventually make sense, if not in the moment, then in the mirror we hold up years later.
Author: Susan Fong, April 2025
Unconditional Happiness: Ditch the Checklist, Find Your Joy
“It’s not about doing more, but about being present. That’s the secret to unlocking true happiness.”
Have you ever felt like happiness was just out of reach, a reward waiting for you at the finish line of life’s achievements? Many single women fall into this trap, chasing a picture-perfect life that leaves them feeling empty. I used to be one of them.
I’ve always considered myself a happy person. It’s what my conscience told me – that I have a good life and that I am lucky, so I should be happy.
Growing up in a childhood environment where the only love languages expressed were through acts of service, I struggled to recognize and appreciate being loved or feeling loved. Looking back, I realize this shaped my belief that happiness came from doing good and being of service to others.
I chased this idea relentlessly, hoping that each achievement would bring me closer to a sense of fulfilment and lasting happiness. I want to do good, so I chose a vocation in the non-profit sectors to devote my service to helping the needy, I volunteered tirelessly and even envisioned a picture-perfect family life – a caring companion and children of my own. I have a full bucket list to travel and explore the world.
While I celebrate each box of milestones and achievements ticked with pride, I find myself increasingly discontented and unfulfilled.
One day, it hit me: I was playing a rigged game. Fear of failure and self-doubt, those inner saboteurs, were whispering that true happiness only existed on the other side of some distant finish line. I was living in the pursuit of conditional happiness, only to find it continually unfulfilling and bringing unhappiness.
I began challenging these limiting beliefs. I questioned why my well-being should be conditioned by external validation or the fulfilment of societal expectations. Happiness shouldn’t be a checklist, it shouldn’t be conditional. Conditional happiness is not true happiness, it is just temporary, and not sustainable. Being trapped in the pursuit of conditional happiness means constantly feeling that I am not happy now and that I will be happy if or when I have more boxes ticked.
This new perspective wasn’t easy. It meant confronting my fears head-on, dismantling the walls of self-doubts. It meant embracing self-compassion and learning to love and accept myself – flaws and all. It is still a work in progress, perhaps a lifelong journey to be mindful of not falling into the same trap in search of happiness.
The key to unlocking this new kind of happiness wasn’t about doing more, but about being present. I have learned a few things that work for me, that I now share with you:
Embrace The Journey:
1) Be gentle with yourself
I’ve come to realize that practicing self-compassion is crucial to navigating life’s twists and turns. Understanding that setbacks and imperfections are simply part of the journey and not a detrimental end. I learn to love myself even more. After all, who else deserves greater and unconditional love than ourselves?
2) Understand yourself
Self-awareness is empowering. Recognizing my strengths and weaknesses allows for authentic growth. Regularly practicing gratitude fosters a lasting sense of happiness, as neuroscientist Alex Korb suggests 1. Make choices that resonate with your desires, not societal expectations.
3) Confront your fear
Courageously facing my fears and insecurities head-on has been a transformative experience. I’ve come to understand that often, what holds me back from unconditional happiness are the fears lingering in the shadows. By confronting them, I am liberated and hold the power to take control of my happiness.
Find Your Spark:
1) Find the right catalyst
I’ve learned the importance of seeking out people, experiences, or practices that ignite positive change within me. Whether it’s a mentor, a supportive friend, exploring new paths, change from an old habit, surrounding myself with influences that inspire growth has been invaluable.
2) Identify your saboteurs
Saboteurs are negative emotions that hinder happiness. These saboteurs often manifested as self-doubt, comparison, anger, or fear of failure. Acknowledging them was the first step, and then refusing to let them dictate my happiness.
3) Set realistic expectations
Understanding that happiness isn’t a constant state but rather a journey filled with peaks and valleys has shifted my perspective. I’ve learned to set realistic expectations, embracing the being rather than the doing. Practice being fully present in the moment, without judgment or attachment to outcomes.
4) Find your passions
Discovering what sets my soul on fire has been a game-changer. Cultivating my passions has provided me with a source of inner strength and resilience, regardless of external circumstances.
Happiness, I now understand, isn’t a transaction. It’s a recognition of our inherent worth, a celebration of our unique selves. We are human beings, not human doings. And within that realization lies the key to unlocking a life of boundless joy and fulfilment. So, dare to embrace the fullness of who you are, and let your radiant authenticity illuminate the path to unconditional happiness.
Note:
Korb, A., 2015. The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time
Author: Susan Fong, March 2025
From Pressure To Purpose – 7 Lessons For Embracing Single Life With Joy
“Embracing the joy as a single woman over 40 means embodying resilience, self-love, and the courage to defy societal norms.”
The start of a new year is always the time for ethnic Chinese across the globe to celebrate the Chinese Lunar New Year. During this massive celebration a familiar tradition unfolded: the giving of ang paos. Known as “Ang Pao” or “Hong Bao,” these red envelopes carry the tradition of gifting money as a gesture of blessing during special occasions and festivals. In Malaysia where I grew up in, the giving of ang paos during Chinese Lunar New Year must be from the married to the unmarried. This, supposedly a well-meaning tradition, often accompanied by well-intentioned but ultimately pressuring words, urging singles to find a partner soon, so they too can have the privilege of giving ang paos.
I’ve observed this custom for as long as I have been single. However, as time passed, my sentiment towards this gesture has soured, leading me to question its necessity and implications. This pressure to find a partner is just one example of how society can define happiness for single women. We are often presented with a specific life script: find a good husband, get married young, raise a family.
For a long time I was trapped by these stigmatisation and myths of this conditional happiness. In my search to carve out a space for myself as a single woman, I often defaulted to avoidance as a means of self-protection. I also used to believe that happiness was a destination achieved through accomplishments like getting married or having children. I was trapped in the pursuit of conditional happiness, constantly feeling that I am not happy now and that I will be happy if or when I have more boxes ticked.
Gradually, I began to challenge these limiting beliefs. I came to realise that this “checklist” approach to happiness was ultimately unfulfilling. I questioned why my well-being should be conditioned by external validation or the fulfilment of societal expectations.
Embracing Singlehood with joy:
For many women, singlehood is not a waiting room for marriage, but a fulfilling life choice. Single women over 40 often face unique challenges and pressures, but they can also find a strong sense of purpose. I have learned to find joy and serenity in embracing single life, and here are seven lessons I’d like to share:
1. Never Mind Others’ Judgement
In a society inclined toward swift judgement, it’s crucial to acknowledge that our worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions or societal norms. I’ve learned to dismiss judgmental remarks, recognizing that my journey is inherently valid and unique, irrespective of external opinions.
2. Resist Complacency
Life is about growth and exploration. Instead of settling into complacency, I actively seek out new challenges and adventures, pushing beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone and embracing the opportunities that come my way.
3. No Woman Is an Island
While I cherish my independence, I also value the significance of communal bonds and having healthy and constructive social support networks. Maintaining connections with friends, companions, activity partners and family provides invaluable support and companionship.
4. Self-Care
In the hustle of single life, it’s easy to overlook self-care – both physical and mental. However, prioritising self-nurturance has been pivotal in sustaining a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.
5. Be Financially Independent
Financial independence provides a sense of security and liberty, affording me the agency to chart my own course and pursue my passions autonomously.
6. Treasure the small joys
In the pursuit of happiness, savouring life’s small pleasures assumes paramount joy. Whether capturing a perfect selfie or indulging in a favourite pastime, embracing moments of self-expression and delight spices life with richness and fulfilment.
7. Count the Blessings
Despite the challenges of single life, there’s much to be celebrated. Devoting time to recognize and express gratitude for these blessings cultivates a profound sense of contentment and fulfilment.
Finding Happiness on Your Own Terms:
Being single doesn’t mean that I don’t value partnership or marriage. On the contrary, I adore and applaud how wonderful healthy relationships can be. But they shouldn’t be the sole source of happiness. As I navigate life’s twists and turns, I remain open to whatever the future may hold. Whether I continue on the path of singleness or encounter my “Mr. Right,” I approach each day with optimism and gratitude, being present that authentic happiness stems not from conforming to conditional happiness, but from living authentically and true to oneself. By embracing your authentic self and living life on your own terms, you can find happiness that is lasting and meaningful.
Author: Susan Fong, March 2025
The Quiet Revolution of an Introvert
They say, “still waters run deep,” and that’s definitely me – an introvert through and through. From an early age, I identified strongly with introverted tendencies. I had my first Myers–Briggs Type Indicator assessment during my early career, and subsequently every few years, each time reaffirming my introverted nature to the tune of 99%. Questions about social gatherings and preferences for solitude versus socializing always lead me back to the same conclusion, I am, undeniably, an introvert.
But let’s be honest, sometimes that “deep” feeling came with a side of “self-doubt soup.” Friends would be like, “Wait, you? An introvert?” In a world where t extroverts shine more brightly, being introverted can feel like swimming upstream in a fast-moving river. Been there, splashed a bunch.
The introvert label friend or foe?
Here’s the thing: being an introvert never felt like a limitation. Understanding the traits and behaviours that come with it, I enjoy being an introvert and the unique strengths it brings. Introverts are fantastic listeners (seriously, award-winning listeners!), which is a skill I truly value. I listen first, speak only when necessary, and that lets me connect with people on a deeper level. Plus, I respect personal boundaries and appreciate the power of a good, quiet moment. Alone time? Absolutely necessary for recharging my internal battery. Social engagements? I pick and choose carefully, like a cat deciding on the perfect napping spot.
But, there’s a flip side. I used to be a master avoider of tricky situations. Social gatherings could leave me drained and a little awkward. My shyness about speaking up sometimes held me back. In meetings, I’d take a backseat, thinking silence showed humility. Big mistake! It turns out, staying silent can also mean missing out on expressing my unique perspective.
The a-ha moment: Missed connections
Then it hit me – all this social solitude might be hindering me from building strong connections. It could slow down my growth, making me a “lone processor” in a world that thrives on collaboration. True growth comes from sharing experiences and bouncing ideas off others. By opening myself up a bit more, I could expand my horizons in ways I never imagined.
Unexpected twist: Introverted superhero
Here’s the crazy part: my job in the do-gooder world (humanitarian and development) became my unexpected growth engine. Working my way up from program manager to leadership roles involved stuff that pushed me way outside my comfort zone – corporate engagement, event planning, and wrangling diverse teams. It turns out, I have hidden extrovert superpowers – bravery, public speaking chops, and a surprising knack for connecting with people. Who knew? In this arena, I totally thrived as a “people person.”
Mindful mix: Embracing my introverted awesomeness
Guess what? This newfound realization trickled into my personal life too. While I still wear my “listening champion” badge with pride, I also started to speak up more. And guess what? I kind of enjoyed hearing myself think out loud with friends! I became less of an avoider and more of a “let’s-do-this” kind of person. Being a new solopreneur, I knew I had to network and chase business opportunities. So, I started attending events, chatting with strangers (gulp!), and keeping an open mind. The more I shared with friends, my mentor and coach, the more I learned about myself and what I truly wanted.
The happy introvert: It’s all about you
So, how do we deal with this whole introvert-extrovert thing? Here’s the key: our personalities aren’t set in stone. Instead of seeing introversion as a weakness, I view it as a strength – the foundation for my growth.
It’s all about having choices. I can choose to lean into my introverted side when I need to recharge, and tap into my extroverted side when the situation calls for it. By being mindful and intentional, I’ve gained control over those social complexities. It’s a journey, and I’m still very much a proud introvert who has embraced all the parts of me. I find comfort and joy in my quiet time, but I also appreciate the value of stepping outside my comfort zone.
Introverted or extroverted, we’re all on this journey of self-discovery. Mine has been about embracing who I am, finding self-acceptance, and ultimately, the unconditional happiness on my own terms. This newfound awareness lets me navigate the social world with confidence, all while cherishing the quiet strength of my introverted nature. Because, hey, even quiet cats can rule the world (one purr at a time).
Author: Susan Fong, February 2025
From Stuck to Thriving: A Personal Guide to Getting Unstuck
“There were times when self-doubt clouded my vision, but over the years, I’ve learned that embracing change and taking intentional steps are key.”
Life is full of transitions, and for many of us, especially singles and professionals, roadblocks like self-doubt, anxiety, and societal pressures can leave us feeling trapped. As a single professional, I’ve experienced the pressure of balancing career, personal expectations, and societal norms, often questioning whether I was on the right path. There were times when self-doubt clouded my vision, but over the years, I’ve learned that embracing change and taking intentional steps are the keys to breaking free and thriving.
The journey of transformation begins with a simple yet profound realization: desire. It’s that spark within that tells you, “I deserve better. I want more.” But desire alone isn’t enough, you need to harness it into action, build resilience, and embrace a growth mindset. Here’s how I turned my own experiences into a powerful framework that you can use to get unstuck and thrive.
Cultivate Self-Awareness and Acceptance
The first step toward breaking free is self-awareness. Observing your thoughts, actions, and emotions gives you the insights into how they shape your experiences. Self-awareness is like holding up a mirror to your inner self, it reflects your strengths, reveals your weaknesses, and exposes the hidden patterns that keep you stuck.
I learned this lesson while working in remote places like Luchun, a mountainous village in China. Facing the unknown in unfamiliar territory pushed me to confront my fears and recognize my resilience. This environment was a mirror, forcing me to acknowledge my strengths while also confronting my weaknesses.
However, self-awareness alone isn’t enough, it must be paired with acceptance. For a long time, I was my harshest critic, blaming myself for situations beyond my control. But real growth happens when you embrace all parts of yourself, the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable. Acceptance doesn’t mean settling; it’s a compassionate step toward building something better.
To start your journey, I recommend simple yet effective tools like journaling or a personal SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats). These practices allow you to see yourself clearly, setting the stage for meaningful change.
Acknowledge Your Situation and Take Action
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when life’s challenges pile up, whether it’s a stagnant career, loneliness, or the grind of everyday life making you question your purpose. I’ve been there too. The turning point came when I stopped waiting for change to happen and decided to take action.
In my years working with grassroots communities in the development sector, I witnessed the power of small, consistent actions. Real progress is built over time, not through giant leaps, but through steady steps forward. One of my favourite is the “Wheel of Life” reflection tool. This helps assess key areas like career, relationships, and health, allowing you to pinpoint where you need to focus. It’s a game-changer for creating actionable, manageable plans.
Remember, transformation doesn’t happen overnight, it’s about the steady, consistent steps that eventually lead you to your goals.
Make Empowered Choices
For years, I believed my circumstances defined me—that my skills and potential were fixed. But adopting a growth mindset changed everything. It taught me that challenges are opportunities for learning and growth, not obstacles. This shift empowered me to see failures as stepping stones, not limitations.
The concept of a growth mindset, popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, emphasizes that our abilities and intelligence are not fixed. With effort, learning, and perseverance, we can develop and grow. This mindset transformed how I approached my personal and professional life. Every setback became an opportunity to learn something new about myself, and each challenge pushed me closer to my potential.
When I was working in internationally in the development sector, dealing with diverse communities, I realized that the biggest barriers we face are often the ones we set for ourselves. By reframing difficulties as opportunities for growth, you empower yourself to break through them.
I encourage you to adopt the same approach. Embrace the challenges in your life as a vital part of your growth journey.
Commit to Change
Commitment is the key that turns desire into action. My personal transformation didn’t truly begin until I decided to create a structured framework for change and commit to it. Without commitment, all the self-awareness and positive thinking in the world won’t make a difference. You need a clear roadmap, achievable goals, and the perseverance to see them through.
A Personal Development Plan is essential. Break your goals into manageable steps, set clear milestones, and commit to the process. Whether you’re looking to pivot in your career or improve your relationships, having a plan is critical. Equally important is having accountability, someone who will support you, offer honest feedback, and celebrate your progress along the way.
Success isn’t just about the big wins, it’s about the small, consistent victories that add up over time. Share your goals, track your progress, and make adjustments as needed. This is how you turn commitment into lasting change.
The Unstuck Project
The path from stuck to thriving isn’t always a straight line, but it’s a rewarding journey. My own experiences of feeling stuck fuel my passion to help others break free from their self-imposed limitations. The Unstuck Project was born out of this desire, my self-coaching program that has empowered me to live fully and intentionally. It’s not just about getting unstuck; it’s about discovering my potential and crafting a life that aligns with my values and dreams.
Author: Susan Fong, January 2025
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